In Effective Communications, General Leadership Skills, Leadership, Leadership Books, Leadership Education, Leadership Skills, Leadership Training, Listening Skills, Management on August 29, 2011 at 8:45 pm
In a couple weeks, AMACOM, a division of the American Management Association, will release Michelle Tillis Lederman’s new book, The 11 Laws of Likability. I’m nearly finished reading the advance copy AMACOM sent me and will post a book review soon.
In the meantime, here are some great reminders from Lederman’s book on listening — what to do and what not to do to be a leader who’s an effective listener:
- Maintain eye contact
- Limit your talking
- Focus on the speaker
- Ask questions
- Manage your emotions
- Listen with your eyes and ears
- Listen for ideas and opportunities
- Remain open to the conversation
- Confirm understanding, paraphrase
- Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile)
- Ignore distractions
- Show signs of impatience
- Judge or argue mentally
- Multitask during a conversation
- Project your ideas
- Think about what to say next
- Have expectations or preconceived ideas
- Become defensive or assume you are being attacked
- Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language
- Listen with biases or closed to new ideas
- Jump to conclusions or finish someone’s sentences
In Effective Communications, General Leadership Skills, Leadership, Leadership Books, Leadership Education, Leadership Skills, Leadership Training, Listening Skills, Management on June 30, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Here are some ways to sharpen your listening skills to help you derive the fullest meaning from what is being communicated:
- Listen for potential
- Listen for what’s not said
- Listen for inconsistency
- Identify nonverbal signals
- Listen for perspective
- Listen for energy
- Listen for themes and threads
- Listen for what’s behind the words
- Listen through the silence
- Listen for positive change
- Acknowledge you’re listening
- Know when to interrupt
The last tip, about interrupting, kind of surprised me when I read this list in the book, What Could Happen If You Do Nothing. But, there are times when interrupting makes sense. Strategic interrupting can be both clarifying and productive for both parties. For example, it makes sense to interrupt when:
- You feel that you or the other person has lost the thread
- You need clarification to fully get what’s going on
- There’s an opportunity to offer a suggestion
- It might be helpful to reframe or offer another way to look at a situation
And, if you are having a conversation with someone who is expressing their feelings or attitudes, keep in mind that according to professor Albert Mehrabian of UCLA that within that communication to you:
- 7 percent is in the words that are spoken
- 38 percent is in the way the words are said
- 55 percent is in facial expression
In General Leadership Skills, Leadership Skills, Leadership Training, Listening Skills on March 7, 2010 at 10:37 am
March is Listening Awareness Month according to the International Listening Association (ILA).
Being a good listener is absolutely essential to being an effective leader.
When you really listen, you:
- Remember names and facts correctly.
- Hear “between the lines.”
- Show respect.
- Learn more about what’s going on within your workplace.
Here’s how to be a better listener:
- Look at the person who’s speaking to you. Maintain eye contact.
- Watch for non-verbal clues, body language, gestures and facial expressions.
- Eliminate all distractions. Don’t multi-task.
- Ask questions that let the other person know you have heard them, and that you want to learn more.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Don’t finish the other person’s sentences.
- Avoid using words, such as “no,” “but,” and “however,” when you respond.
- Don’t prejudge.
- Display a friendly, open attitude and body language.
- Ask questions to clarify what you heard.